The Bastard by Anne Ireland
Published by Leap of Faith
A sage of love, passion and betrayal
Enjoy the excerpt
There are moments when my mind travels back to that warm summer day when I was just a child and I remember. All at once I am torn by regret and remorse for what I have done - and for what I did not do. Were I a better person none of it need ever have happened. Yet even if I had known what was to come, could I have prevented it? There were other forces at work, stronger wills than mine, and I was carried along by the momentum, swept up like a leaf in a gale.
No, that is the excuse of a weak woman begging for the blame to be lifted from her shoulders, for forgiveness. I was never weak. Even when we were children it was always I who led and Michael who followed, for all that he was older and stronger.
But I have learned that there are different strengths - strength of purpose, strength of body and strength of mind.
As I stand now looking out of my window at gardens, which were once beautiful but have now fallen into neglect, I know that much of what happened here was my fault. The grief and pain I feel cannot be avoided; they are mine and I accept them. I must bear them until the day comes when I can forgive myself.
By way of atonement I have decided to set it all down just as it happened, so that others can read the truth. In doing so I may come to understand myself, and perhaps with understanding will come an easing of my grief.
I pray that God at least will judge me mercifully